The Rhythm of Relational Presence

Last night I had 4 new participants in a Circle and got a fresh perspective on the RP induction. The difference between the work of those who've been attending and those who are new was striking. What we learn from RP practice is to "start from stop" and lead with the breath, then stop and engage the eyes without giving up the breath, and from that receptive place allow thoughts to emerge as they do and words to arise when they do to only and always one person at a time.

Newcomers tend to lead with their thinking and speak toward us but not with us. They are somewhat out of breath and then so are we. But by the second turn they were all moving in the direction of that rhythm.

The rhythm again: Stopping and breathing and co-presencing, then engaging wordlessly in the shared stillness before words flow effortlessly, as long as it takes to get there.

Nothing less than the ecstatic and natural Rhythm of Life!

Comments

[Doreen Hamilton]

When I lead introductory Speaking Circle programs, new participants are always amazed at the simple elegance of the Relational Presence practice. "Stop, Look, and Listen" is a basic instruction many of us received as children when we were learning how to safely cross the street. These three words were meant to increase our awareness so that we could notice and pay attention to our surroundings.

When speaking in front of a group, these same words are guides that can bring us into the moment and help us focus on what really matters in communication--staying present with ourselves and our listeners. Learning how to come to a full stop rather than immediately start racing forward to deliver words is the first step that opens the door to relationship. Then, looking from that generous and accepting place inside of ourselves to the essential goodness of the listener will bring a positive quality into the shared experience. And finally, listening to the fullness of now can enliven the words, whether they are scripted or not.

[Sahara Chaldean]

I really like the metaphor of "The Rhythm of Relational Presence". For me it feels like a dance that was never meant to be danced alone. And as Doreen said- The "Stop, Look and Listen" becomes the beat we are following in our relational partnerships.